Is this experience sad or joyful?

Lonely or not?

A normal person would say it is both sad and lonely. But I'm not normal. haha

So I guess this would be a happy experience for me.

Many years ago, well 2 years ago to be exact, one of the things that puzzle me is love.

Yes, LOVE.

When will I know that I love a person?

Should there really be a particular reason for loving a person?

Is it really that sad if the one you love does not love you back?

Answers to these are finally being revealed to me. Not in a very pleasant way, but nevertheless, I'm learning something. Something essential so it is fine.

A year ago, if you'd ask me about this, I'll just laugh. But now, I can't because it hurts a lot. Knowing that something you really want, something you long for is doomed from the beginning. Well actually, in my situation, doomed before even that idea was conceived. Also add the number of people who tease me or ask me about it. It's driving me crazy.

I like you. I really do. I truly like you. And the truth is, I've never felt this way before. NEVER.

I'm a very selfish person. Among all the people in the world, your the one to know that best. That's why you should be surprised by this.

Actually, "like" would be a very mild term for stating it. I really l _ _ _ you. haha :p

Yes, love in a sense that, I'm willing to sacrifice to see you smile. To keep my silence just so you can have your peace of mind. To pretend that you're only just a friend to keep this balance in an already tilting world, where there's no us. Just "you" and "I". It's like wanting to have you but letting you go free instead. Very weird. But then, it makes you happy. You're content in just showing him how you feel without anything in return.

Can't believe I'm the one typing this lines. It sounds like the yucky lines from those gooey movies that just aim to tickle you. Konting kilig there. Konting kilig here. Then you leave the moviehouse empty. Having nothing to preoccupy you at all. Like some puzzling fact or lesson in life.

But then again, at another angle, this sounds like a line from a fool. Doesn't want to risk anything just so he can stay in that sort of "assured" haven. Never moving forward. Status quo. So he just assures himself that this is what he wants, nothing more and surely nothing less.

Coward.

But can you blame me?

If a compass gets lost, will there be someone to point it to the right direction? Will it be able to point itself to the right path?

That's the title of the book that I finished reading last Thursday. It's author is Kazuo Ishiguro. The story is somewhat similar to the movie "The Island" starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Compared to the movie, however, the book presents less hope in preventing such things to continue due to the selfishness of humans. <basahin ninyo kung may time kayo>

In this book, I saw the potential of humans in being able to do selfish actions in order to survive. 

This is from AJ's multiply account. Hindi ko kilala yung last na nagpadala sa akin ng text message.

Dear Anonymous,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it when I quoted Santa outside of Chicago and I saw you carve your initials into my kid rock-collection.

I'm sure you're scarred enough to understand how awful I've felt.

I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep the oil stocks as a memory.

You should also know that I told in my confession today about our friendship.

Go burn,

Carla

Do it like this:
Dear (the person who last texted/smsed you).
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you

___4___ ___5___.

I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___.

I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory.
You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.

___12___,
-Your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm inlove with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
Annat; With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit at
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs; Man
O.C.; Emotional
One Tree Hill; Open
Heroes; Frostbitten
Lost; High
House; Scarred
Simpsons; Cowardly
The news; Mongolic
Idol; Masochistic
Family Guy; Senile
Top Model; Middle-class
Annat; Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

I just received this message which tells of the characteristics of a person depending on his/her zodiac sign. Here's an example:

SCORPIO - The Addict

EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

It's quite funny the way the message describes you in a good way but after reading it you will be required to forward it so that you won't have a number of years of bad luck. I stopped forwarding these messages a very long time ago, not only in e-mails but also in text messages. Mainly because, if it's really true, I'd rather have the curse end with me than pass it to someone else. I also realized that they are not true and they are made mainly to scare other people.

At saka grabe naman kasi kung hahayaan mo na isang e-mail lang ang magsasabi kung ano yung mangyayari sa buhay mo.